10 Truths I Want My Daughter to Know About Her Body

I am the mom of a beautiful, young girl. She is precocious, loving, and insanely curious. She thinks her body is pretty great – never lamenting her thighs, or obsessing over a blemish on her skin, or worrying about what size clothes she’s wearing. I wish I could keep this innocence in her forever, but I know I can’t. I know that as time goes on, she’ll begin to absorb the messages around her and she’ll grapple with her observations of others’ quests for beauty. She’ll wonder if she, too, needs to change, and she’ll explore what things she can do to look and feel more beautiful.

So, in preparation for her growing up, this is my advice to her – and to every person (women and men) struggling to accept and embrace their beautiful bodies. I hope that my daughter is able to stay grounded in who she is and what’s important to her, not getting caught up in the image-focused hype and not ever losing sight of her values and priorities.

1) It’s so much cooler to be strong than to be skinny!
You will be bombarded with messages telling you that thin is the ideal body type, and that you are somehow a better person if you can achieve this. That’s bologna! Strength, regardless of body size and shape, is way more beautiful! When you are physically strong, you feel confident and proud. What could be more beautiful than a strong, confident woman? (Hint: Nothing!)

2) Your body hates diets!
You will encounter so many people who are on a diet or planning a diet, and there will be times when you’ll wonder if maybe you should try one. Well let me make this easy for you – don’t do it! Diets don’t work; they just mess up your body’s natural ability to manage things. Instead, eat nutritious, delicious food when you’re hungry; stop when you’re comfortably full; and don’t let food become your shoulder to cry on.

3) Your body loves to be loved. 
Your body deserves to be taken care of; don’t take advantage of this amazing system you have by neglecting it or overusing it. Make sure you stay active, rest regularly, get pampered, and eat wholesome food.

4) Your body is yours, and only yours!
I’m pretty sure by the time you read this I will have hammered this into your head, but just in case I didn’t I want you to know that no one should ever hurt or take advantage of your body in any way. Protect your body and be very selective about who has the privilege of getting close to you. If someone ever makes you feel uncomfortable, listen to your gut and do whatever you can to stop them, even if it might hurt their feelings or offend them. And please know you can always count on your dad and me to help you if you ever encounter a scary or hurtful situation.

5) Listen closely; your body will tell you what it wants.
Your body is profoundly smart! If you listen carefully, it will tell you when it needs food, rest, love, medicine, or anything else. Don’t let your world get so loud and busy that you can’t even hear what your body is trying to tell you.

6) Your body will change. 
Your body will look and feel different throughout your life, from adolescence to adulthood to later life. Embrace these changes and find their value, rather than wishing you could go back to how things were when you were younger.

7) Some people will talk about your body.
I don’t know why, but some people feel it is their right to criticize your body. You can waste a ton of time worrying about what they may (or may not) be saying, or you can choose to not care and get on with your life. I vote for the latter. If they don’t like your body, that’s their problem. And how sad that they choose to spend their time talking meanly about others – I wish they could take a lesson from you and get focused on what helps them to live a wonderfully fulfilled life.

8) Your body loves to try new things.
Don’t be scared to expose your body to new things – try unique foods, explore a hobby you’re curious about, check out new places. A rich life is full of things that bring you joy, so get out there and discover what those things may be for you.

9) Your body functions better when you’re surrounded by support and comfort.
Countless research studies have demonstrated the importance of positive connections with others. When we feel safe and supported by others, our physical and emotional health is significantly better. Intentionally surround yourself with quality people who are interesting, kind, and well-suited for you. And never hesitate to ask me for a hug when you need one – I’ll never run out!

10) Your body is perfectly imperfect!
Our imperfections are what make us unique; without them we would all have the same, boring look. Don’t seek the perfect size or shape (because they don’t exist); instead, find gratitude for your imperfections and choose to celebrate the fact that you have a well-functioning, strong, healthy body.

Dr. Ashley Southard is Site Director and a Clinical Therapist at A New Beginning, and the Co-Founder and Program Director for TheHealthyWeighOut, both in Scottsdale, Arizona. Follow her on Twitter @DrAshleyS.