A Body That Works

by

Recently I was afforded the opportunity to reconnect with and have gratitude for my body on a very basic level. My ability to see was temporarily suspended while I recovered from a corneal abrasion, a scratch on my eyeball that caused a great deal of pain and left me unable to open my eyes. As I lay in a dark room for two days, not once being able to see, I was woefully aware of all the privileges that had been taken from me as a result of this injury.

I noticed the trivial effects, like not being able to watch TV, check email, or prepare my own meal. There were more serious consequences, too, like not being able to drive or navigate my way through a new environment. I relied on my family to do practically everything for me, a position to which I am not accustomed nor do I prefer.

But the most painful part of this whole experience, superseding the physical pain I endured for many days, was the inability to see my daughter’s smile, watch my husband play peek-a-boo with her, and strengthen my attachment with her using eye contact. These amazingly beautiful moments were stolen from me in the blink of an eye (pardon the pun), leaving me alone in a world of darkness surrounded by familiar sounds that teased me with visualizations of what I was missing. In fact, the universe revealed its cruel sense of humor as we drove to the eye doctor’s office – for the first time my daughter successfully manipulated her toy so that it would make sound; as my husband praised her for this exciting accomplishment and narrated a play-by-play for me, I cried knowing that I had just missed watching her turn a corner in her development.

Over these past few days, as I have regained a blurry ability to see, I am remarkably grateful for this simple gift that I will no longer take for granted. The world is now a brighter, more beautiful place to me – and one that I hope to never lose again! I can’t imagine life without the ability to watch our beautiful Arizona sunsets, read a book to my daughter, or simply drive myself to the store. While this injury is one that I hope to never experience again, I am appreciative of the reminder it gave me about my body’s incredible ability to provide me with a richly fulfilling life. From various sensory experiences to painlessly moving throughout the day, I am so very grateful for the simple, albeit paramount, privilege of having a body that works well. So while I could spend my days lamenting about the size of this part or the shape of that part, I instead choose to give thanks for the countless ways in which my body functions just as it’s supposed to.

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Dr. Ashley Southard

Scottsdale, AZ, USA

Dr. Ashley Southard is a Complex Trauma Therapist and Eating Disorder Expert. Check her out on YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook for heartfelt inspiration and life-changing education.