Looking on the Bright Side

by

You’ve likely heard the phrase, “No matter how flat you make a pancake, there’s always two sides.” Well, this year there were definitely two sides to my Christmas – same story with two very different versions. Like many stories of history, both versions are 100% true. However, one version makes for good drama, while the other makes for good memories. As you read this, notice which “side” tends to be your version of life.

Christmas, Side 1
The week before Christmas, our house turned into an infirmary; my daughter came down with a double ear infection and respiratory infection, while my husband and I battled a vicious cold/cough illness. Amazingly, I survived the last week of work, but anything unnecessary (e.g., gift shopping, house cleaning) had been pushed to the wayside while we all guzzled medicine and coughed the night away. That Friday, just four days before Christmas, my dad called to say that he would not be traveling out here because he was home sick with the flu, and thus he would be missing his only grandchild’s first Christmas. Additionally, my mother-in-law was being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance for intense chest pain and unusually high blood pressure. 48 hours later, and just two days before Christmas, she was discharged with no known cause and a bag full of medicine. She did not feel comfortable staying home alone, so she packed up her things and moved in with us for a few days. Later that day, I ran around town trying to gather the finishing touches for my gifts and picking up groceries. My husband then drove his mom around so that she could gather her gifts. Late on Christmas Eve, as my husband and I quietly put together a bright red Radio Flyer wagon, our daughter woke up screaming; she was inconsolable and refused to be left alone in her crib. So, I put her in bed with us, where she vacillated between sleeping and whimpering for the next several hours (read: we, as parents, did not sleep). At 7:30am, we were all rudely awakened by a large puddle of pee on the bed – of course, her diaper had leaked! So, I stripped the bed and changed her clothes, put everything in the washing machine, and started the coffee pot. About 15 minutes later, my mother-in-law informed me that there was water all over the kitchen floor…our washing machine was leaking! After throwing breakfast in the oven and opening some gifts, an unwelcome family member paid a visit to our house, dropping off presents for our daughter. Fortunately, he departed without incident, but left behind a trail of anxiety and stress that none of us needed. By Christmas night, the house had emptied and everything started to settle down. We were all exhausted and just thankful to have survived all the craziness!

Christmas, Side 2
The week before Christmas, our house turned into an infirmary. Thankfully, we all had gotten our flu shots earlier in the season, so we never got THAT sick. I was well enough to get through the last week of work before holiday break, and looked forward to a weekend filled with the hustle and bustle of Christmas preparations (I love this time of year!). Unfortunately, the Friday before Christmas was not as festive as we had planned. My dad called to say that he would not be flying out here because he was home sick with the flu, but that he would reschedule in January when we’re all feeling better. Additionally, my mother-in-law was being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance for intense chest pain and unusually high blood pressure. Thankfully, because her job offers health insurance, she was able to have a battery of tests to rule out heart attack, stroke, arterial blockage, and other possible problems. All of her tests came back showing no problems, and so she was sent home in time to celebrate Christmas with the family. On Sunday I hit the stores early, beating out the crowds, and by noon I had checked everything off my list. On Christmas Eve, my husband’s family came over to our house and we had a lovely evening enjoying their traditional taco dinner, opening gifts, and laughing together. Our daughter was lucky to receive so many thoughtful gifts that will help her continue to grow and explore. Late that night, as my husband and I quietly put together a bright red Radio Flyer wagon, our daughter woke up not feeling well so I put her in bed with us, where we all snuggled together for the next several hours – what a wonderful Christmas gift! When we awoke to a leaky diaper, I quickly stripped the bed and got everything clean in time for us to enjoy a homemade breakfast and open Santa’s gifts. The washing machine resumed its functioning without incident, so we’re assuming the one-time leak must have been a fluke (fingers crossed!). We spent the rest of the day in our pajamas helping our daughter explore her new toys and watching our favorite Christmas movies. Despite the odds, it was a wonderful day filled with loving family, good food, and a camera full of memories.

While the story of Christmas, Side 1 makes for an entertaining saga of “everything that could go wrong, did,” I can’t help but hold on to the story of Christmas, Side 2. This holiday arrived on the heels of a vicious mass shooting at an elementary school in Connecticut, in which 20 moms and dads had to wake up on December 25 without their sweet children (not to mention the 6 adults who lost their lives while bravely fighting to protect their students). They didn’t get to see their children’s smiles light up the room, or watch them excitedly play with their new toys. They didn’t get to text pictures to family members far away or kiss their children good night after a joyful Christmas day. So, while it would be entertaining to lament all the ways my holiday plans were spoiled, I am choosing instead to be grateful, mindful, and peaceful: grateful that we have each other; mindful of how quickly life can change; and peaceful during this end-of-year vacation.

As you create new stories in your life, which “side” will you choose to hold onto? Which one will bring you gratitude and peace? As for me, I’ll probably always notice side 1 because so often it’s hard to miss. But in the coming year, I hope to master the art of reflecting on side 2 when people ask me how I’m doing.

Cheers to a wonderful 2013!

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Dr. Ashley Southard

Scottsdale, AZ, USA

Dr. Ashley Southard is a Complex Trauma Therapist and Eating Disorder Expert. Check her out on YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook for heartfelt inspiration and life-changing education.