Relationship on the Brink?

In a committed relationship? Tired of the tension in your relationship? Feeling hopeless about things ever changing with your partner? If yes, keep reading.

When you two first got together things were pretty good. You both had fun together, you agreed on most things, and you were sure that this person would be your forever mate. Maybe you got married or had a commitment ceremony, maybe you had kids, maybe one or both work full-time jobs. Eventually the excitement of your life together wore off, what used to be cute is now kind of annoying, and you’re pretty sure that your partner no longer listens to you (or even cares). Perhaps there is added stress from work, kids, in-laws, money, etc. You now find yourself in a position where you feel like you’ve tried everything to get him/her to listen to you and understand you, but s/he just tunes you out. You feel angry, exhausted, and hopeless; but you love this person and don’t want to throw in the towel. Any of this sound familiar?

If yes, then it’s time to consider the art of Emotionally-Focused Couple Therapy. This is a type of therapy specifically designed for couples. This approach addresses the unique dynamics present in an intimate relationship, noting how each partner affects and is affected by the other. Dr. Sue Johnson, the founder of this approach, is touted as one of the best couples therapists in the world (so she knows what she’s talking about!).

But before you disregard therapy – “we’ve already tried couples counseling,” or “we can’t afford it” – there are options.

• Option 1 – Work with an emotionally-focused couple therapist who is specifically trained to help you and your partner change your destructive “dance” that keeps you stuck in unhealthy, ineffective communication patterns. Within a few sessions, you will likely begin to understand what isn’t working in your relationship, and start to learn how to effectively change it.
• Option 2 – Attend an emotionally-focused couple therapy workshop (aka Hold Me Tight Relationship Enhancement Group), in which you can dramatically improve your relationship in just one weekend!
• Option 3 – Start reading the book, Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson, which is a fabulous resource that walks couples through the healing process from an emotionally-focused perspective. Dr. Johnson has written this book in a way that is easy to read and understand, while also helping you and your partner work through the deep, meaningful issues that will transform your relationship.

As a couple therapist trained in Emotionally-Focused Couple Therapy, I have seen firsthand the powerful impact this work can have on relationships that were once hurting and broken, but are now thriving and fulfilling.

To learn more about EFT or to find an EFT therapist in your area, visit ICEEFT.