I’m searching for my next dream, which is an unusual event. Usually, my dreams chase me. And all I have to do is listen.
I’ve always been fortunate to possess an internal flashlight. A deep and discerning inner beam that illuminates my Soul’s next desire. My Psyche’s next need. My heart’s next yearning that seems to call upon me in the form of a passion, pointing the way to my next great Dream and an associated drive to actualize it. Which is a promise I made to my Self a long time ago, as a young and healed adult.
Always follow your Light. Never question. Just listen. Make it happen. And you will be happy.
But as of late, I’m discovering that I’m in an unusual space. I’ve been waiting for the next internal tugging to occur. The next knowing of unexplained excitement to transpire. The next yearning that piques my interest and makes me want to leap into action to explore an emerging and new desire, in the form of my Life’s next great ambition.
But nothing is illuminating.
I’ve always had a firm and enduring LOVE for what I do as a psychologist, business owner and healer. And that will always remain. However, in my other-than-professional life I, admittedly, feel a bit lost. Like my life is at a standstill.
Not merely because of COVID, although the logistical barriers associated with the pandemic certainly have impacted my typical dream-driven quest for new adventures and personal growth during COVID.
And not only because it’s summer and my kids are home, with my focus and attention pleasantly divided by family.
No, my absence of dream if I’m honest, is more likely due to a number of positive and negative, subtle and blatant occurrences that have affected my Spirit’s vision for a clear and new dream forward.
First, after almost 28 years of marriage, I am moving out of what I had settled into as forever and am reconciling with the need to embrace, without a clear and knowing solution, the unknown.
Second, I am at a time in my Life when many of my early dreams have been fulfilled. A beautiful, yet somewhat unsettling occurrence if you’ve been directed your entire life by the desire to actualize your dreams.
And lastly, as I move past the midpoint in my Life and head into the latter part of what will become my life’s story, I want even more to live a purposeful, life of Matter.
What will matter to me in my heart when my time is over? What will matter to my children as they remember mom and our life together? What will matter to those I touch, in a life that I hope will have made a difference to others.
I am not the only one who ponders ~ and sometimes flounders ~ in the knowing of their dreams. What will make me happy? Feel purposeful? What will fuel my passion in a manner strong enough to overshadow the mundane, which at times can be too much of Life’s existence.
Purpose. What matters. Dreams that reignite a Life that can oftentimes feel dimming, are frequent and pervasive themes that naturally creep into many a client’s ultimate experience of existence. Life.
And if they are not tended to, can manifest in the opposite of dream fulfillment, in the form of depression, an eating disorder, or overuse of alcohol. All mechanisms which subconsciously attempt to numb the numbed feeling of living within a life that’s acquiesced and devoid of dreams.
At the core, my work with my beloved clients across presenting struggles, always seems to come back to connecting to Self. In a Real and impassioned manner that connects to and upholds your next dream. The Life energy that resides within us all, fueling us, lighting us up, and propelling us forward and back to our Self. In a passion- filled existence of fulfillment and satisfaction.
What I call Thriving.
Through years of dream enactment and listening to my Soul, I know my next dream is on it’s way. I trust that this current “standstill” is a natural and necessary time of pause. Regrouping. Recalibrating my Self, so that the next chapter can be written. First by my internal Self, and then by my external Self who will step into action to manifest whatever is tugging and asking to be followed. In the form of my next dream.
If you are feeling lost or are wandering within your Self to find a piece of Life excitement, I encourage you to take some space and connect. And then to ask your Self, is there a dream that’s been asking for my attention?