The Power of Finding Your People


I hadn’t slalom skied in almost 10 years. 

Nor had I been out on a boat in the middle of the week, wind rushing through my hair, deep in conversation that was so stimulating, intimate, intelligent and REAL While laughing and singing to a mix of music that made everyone in my new EO Forum synergistically smile, as we danced and savored and ENJOYED unbridled moments of sheer, invigorating pleasure. 

Experienced TOGETHER.

The last time I water skied, I had popped right up. Actually, pulled myself up by using only one hand, and then skied the entire length of the lake so effortlessly that I am sure it appeared as if I was showing off, if just a little bit.

But this time, it was different. 

It took me more than a bit of effort and more than a bit of coaching from a surprisingly gentle, encouraging new Forum member-turned-friend who stepped right in to guide me, support me, and then attempted to comfort me, when I didn’t pop right up. 

And, who empathetically UNDERSTOOD me, when I wouldn’t give up.  

Until I tried. And tried. And then tried again, refusing to stop. Willing my Self, “just one more time…” 

Until I FINALLY got up, victorious on one ski.

There is something extraordinarily moving about finding your people. Those who REALLY get you.  Understand you. And willingly support you. Because they are cut from the same grit. 

Their Soul is motivated by the same drive and ambition, resilience and HUNGER for the next atypical challenge, as your Soul. Their Spirit ignited by the same untamed thirst to conquer new experiences, in search of a Life that is made more fulfilling by mastering the ever-changing unknown. 

People who, when you find them, make you feel at home. And, ALIVE.

Life is made more difficult when living within a core relationship – or relationships –  that  really don’t get you. Or, can’t understand you. People who question or judge you, simply because you are different.  

People who can, over time, cause you to start questioning the validity of your ideas, your desires, even your Self. Because what drives you in Life is simply different than what drives them in Life.

I recently stepped away from a core primary relationship that, for many years, caused me to feel no longer at home. One that had become so painfully difficult because of the chronic battles that ensued as a result of being two very different people. Partners no longer understanding each other because our core personality characteristics had become so disparate.

When this happens, every step you attempt to take forward feels akin to trying to move ahead, while encased in quicksand. Emotional cement created out of chronic disagreement. Toxic differing views. Disparate approaches to Life that cause inertia to settle in. 

Until you no longer feel emotionally alive.

If you are feeling no longer at home within your primary relationship, or you leave friends or social events feeling more lonely than before you arrived, ask your Self, “Am I with the right people, for me?”

Do this not motivated by judgment, but by a desire to find your people. 

The ones who, like my new EO Top Gun “tribe,” will undoubtedly lift you up and help you to fly up and into the limitless sky, on an expansive mission of growth. Because the wind that is beneath their wings is the very same Life energy that IS beneath your wings. Like-spirited people flying right beside you at your wing, waiting to SOAR through the next chapter of Life ~ together. 

If you like this, then please share!

Julie T. Anné Zeig, Ph.D.

Dr Julie T. Anné Zeig is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Eating Disorder Specialist, Founder and Clinical Director of A New Beginning and Co-Founder and Clinical Director of TheHealthyWeighOut, both specialty eating disorder treatment facilities located in Scottsdale, Arizona.
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